STORY WRITTEN BY ANTHONY J. MACHCINSKI
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Spoiler Alert: The following recap contains spoilers up to and including Season 5, Episode 5 of “Game of Thrones.” If you have not watched the most recent episode, prepare to be spoiled!
After last week’s action-packed episode, viewers wouldn’t have been surprised if this week’s episode of ‘Game of Thrones’ took a step back, but the show didn’t do that at all: Tyrion almost dies, Jorah gets infected, Sansa tries to play games with the Boltons, Daenerys reopens the fighting pits and even says she’ll marry Hizdar Zo Loraq. What an episode!
While the episode was certainly exciting, the Boltons helped make it downright disturbing.
Former Bolton bastard Ramsey has always been creepy, whether it was the way he tortured Theon orhunted people in the forest, Ramsey just has an aura of creepy that’s almost unmatched on this show. It’s almost like every scene he was in said, “if you thought THAT was creepy, see what you think about this!”
Right off the bat, Ramsey’s sex scene with Myranda, including the severe rape undertones, was enough to make your skin crawl.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, the next time we see Ramsey, he tells Theon to “get on his knees” – teasing rape yet again – before just simply apologizing to him. We all know Ramsey is crazy, but this week he took creepy to frightening heights.
However, if Ramsey is the Eminem of creepy, Roose Bolton is Notorious BIG.
In a conversation following the most awkward dinner and baby announcement ever, Roose Bolton takes Ramsey to school – telling Ramsey that the reason he was born was because Roose raped Ramsey’s mother underneath her husband’s hanging corpse. How’s that for a shudder-some scene? Roose should’ve just told Ramsey, “I’ve been a terror since the public school era” (explicit lyrics in the link) and dropped the mic right there.
Although the tension between members of the skin-crawling Boltons is at a high, nothing brings a family together like an impending war. Thankfully for the Boltons, Stannis is ready to act like Dr. Phil and help unite the family.
· Speaking of “Hell in Winterfell II – Baratheon meets Bolton,” the movement toward battle is a bit earlier than I expected in the show. The big events almost always happen in episode 9 of each season, so to see Stannis head for Winterfell in the 5th episode seems a bit early. Maybe they’ll hit some trouble on the road.
· Stannis Baratheon – grammar expert.
· I don’t know what’s going to happen to Sansa but I’ll just say this – she’s playing checkers while the Boltons are playing chess. Without Littlefinger there to help her, I don’t see things going smoothly for her. The Boltons have her in check with only a few of her pawns remaining. However, at least the North remembers.
· Jon Snow’s decision to arm the Wildlings is a controversial one, but not one without logic. Jon even says that the Wildlings – although they wreaked havoc on The Wall not months ago – are not the biggest threat. That title belongs to the Wights. Even so, it’s not like the two sides will shake hands and all will be peachy. With Stannis gone, and two of Jon’s best companions (Grenn and Pyp) dead, Jon’s going to have to watch his back.
· Good News/Bad News from the East. Good News: The fighting pits have been reopened! Bad News: Daenerys is marrying Hizdar Zo Loraq. Come on Dany! You could do much better for yourself. What about a man from an ancient New Jersey bloodline instead?
· It’s official, “Game of Thrones” has found it’s own “If Daryl Dies, We Riot” in Tyrion. It’s not a bad thing, but how many near-death experiences can one guy have? This week, he gets dragged into the depths of the sea by a Stone Man. Could the show actually kill him off? Absolutely, but it better be a good death. The show did a great job teasing a cliffhanger by the extra long black screen which usually signifies the beginning of the show’s credits.
· Some “Game of Thrones” canon items that you might have missed – Valyria (Valyrian steel and the Valyrian language spawn from this), Children of the Forest (the child that saves Bran and his crew last season is one), and the Stone Men aka the people who attack Jorah and Tyrion.
Next week’s episode preview: