STORY WRITTEN BY JARREAU FREEMAN
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There are more than 319,000,000 people in the United States and the number is changing by the second, according to the United States Census Bureau.
At the end of 2013, the country’s population was at 317,292,487 and 12,773,801 of those people were found in Pennsylvania, which was cited as the sixth most populated state in the country last year.
So, shouldn’t dating be easier?
Former Philadelphia teacher and self-published author Lynn Carr thinks so.
After interviewing more than 4,000 men in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, between the ages of 21 and 90 in a four-year period, Carr decided to share her findings in her first book “Shouldn’t Dating Be Easier?”
In 108 pages, Carr offers men and women of all ages strategies on how to meet people, flirt and develop and maintain a healthy relationship.
For women, the book gives insight into what men find attractive and unattractive in the opposite sex, which can be found in chapters titled “Dressing 101” and “What Not to Do.”
When it comes to clothing, many men like women who dress age appropriate and turtle necks are a “big no,” because some men think they make women seem closed off and unapproachable, Carr explained in a recent interview.
“When I interviewed men in their 20s and 30s I was surprised, because I thought they would want a woman to dress sexy,” she said. “But the guys said they want some things left to the imagination and wanted the women they date to dress more professional and covered up.”
In addition to stylish and age appropriate attire, Carr said that women should always wear a smile, which she said was the top thing the majority of the men she interviewed said they were attracted to.
And what about what women shouldn’t do after a first date? Well, according to the men she surveyed, many of them wouldn’t consider a serious relationship with a woman who slept with them on a first date.
“However, when I went to a wedding there was a gentlemen there in his 70s I spoke with,” Carr said. “I sat with him and asked him all my questions. When I asked him, ‘What do you think of a woman who would sleep with you on a first date?’ He said he would be very grateful. I had to laugh.”
She also said that men don’t like eager women. She gives this example:
“If a guy asks for your phone number, let him call you first, and don’t be so anxious about it. One guy said that he talked to a woman he was interested in for two hours one night. He said he was attracted to her and asked for her phone number. At the end of their conversation she said to him, ‘When are you going to call me. Do you like me? Are you going to call me?’ He said she was so insecure he never called her.”
The book is also filled with interesting pick-up lines men and women will appreciate, she said. She spoke with two guys from Louisiana in a Philadelphia bar who said that a pick up line they’ve used is, “Do you want to go for a ride on my new tractor?” Then there was a man from South Philadelphia who claimed he scored dates when he told women they were “the meatball to his spaghetti.”
“I couldn’t make this stuff up if I wanted to,” she said with a laugh.
The book also includes a few chapters on how people meet whether is at work, through friends or by chance. There was one couple she spoke to that met three times at a baseball game and on the third meeting the guy asked the woman out and they’ve been happily married ever since.
There was also a couple who had been friends for seven years, but couldn’t marry because she was a nun and he was a priest. However, they both decided to leave their positions in the church to marry. Today they’ve been married for more than 30 years and have children and grandchildren, she said.
“That was my absolute favorite story,” Carr said.
The Long Island native and Cheltenham resident said she didn’t write the book for herself (the up-and-coming author mentioned she has been in a happy relationship for 10 years), but for her single girlfriends who’ve struggled in the dating scene. From this book, Carr said she wants her friends and readers to realize that they’re special and the right person will eventually come along.
“I believe each individual can find true love,” she said. “I want people to remain positive and optimistic after reading the book and to not give up the hope of finding that special someone.”
To learn more about “Shouldn’t Dating Be Easier?” visit www.shouldntdatingbeeasier.com.